When I had an eating disorder, my brain wasn’t getting the right nutrients it needed to function properly. In retaliation, my brain inflicted on me a terrible depression among many other issues. I’ve always been an incredibly happy, optimistic, “never-let-anything-get-me-down” type of person. If I wasn’t smiling when I walked into my retail job, people (my co-workers, even regular customers) would immediately ask me if everything was alright. So when I became depressed and shut myself off from the world for a year, it was very apparent that something was wrong. This wasn’t me. Who was this? Who’s mind was living in the same body? Wait…was it even my BODY anymore? I wanted control…but this wasn’t even ME controlling myself now…so what’s the point? How did I let it get so bad that I once again gave up control?
I can take whatever life throws at me and shove it right back into its face
Then 3 months ago I woke up and realized this was no way to live. I started eating real, nutritious foods again. I stopped worrying about calories and started focusing on good fats, protein, potassium, whole grains, vitamins and all those good things I’d been missing. I was so fucking focused on just one number and then wondered why things didn’t add up.
Now I feel absolutely AMAZING. My mind is back to my old self. I’m no longer somebody else. I am happy ALL the time, confident as hell, independent, no one but ME controls me. My body feels great. Looks great.
Whisk flour, baking powder, salt and baking soda in another large bowl to blend
– Severe malnutrition. I would have probably stopped eating entirely by now. What I would eat would probably be crap on late-night binges.
– Lack of any form of confidence. “My husband doesn’t want me. No one will ever want me. I’m ugly. I’m fat. I’m a mess. I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life.”
– Self-blame. Even though I’d been nothing but an unconditionally loving wife who stood by him through thick and thin, I would have found some way to make this affair my fault. And I would have punished myself mentally and physically for it.
- 4 large eggs, separated
- 2 cups ricotta cheese
- 2/3 cup sour cream
- 1 1/3 cups all purpose flour( I used whole wheat)
- 1 tablespoon baking powder
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 1/2 cups whole milk (I used 2%)
- Melted butter
Whisk yolks, ricotta and sour cream in large bowl to blend. Add flour mixture to yolk mixture and stir until combined. Stir in milk. Using electric mixer, beat whites in another large bowl on medium speed until soft peaks form. Fold beaten whites into batter. Heat griddle or large skillet over medium heat. Brush with butter. Working in batches, spoon 2 tablespoons batter onto griddle for each pancake. Cook until golden brown, about 3 minutes per side. Serve with maple syrup.
-I also chopped up some strawberries and threw them in. Then I added a little vanilla extract, honey and cinnamon.
1/3 cup Water 1.5 T Sugar 1 T Lemon Pudding/Pie Filling mix 1/2 T Lemon Juice More water or juice as needed
Boil water. Dissolve sugar in water. Add lemon pudding mix and lemon juice and cook until thickened. Add more water to thin it out to desired consistency. Serve on top of pancakes with chopped walnuts.
*Yup. Holy crap. I didn’t get to whip the egg whites, but they still came out beautiful! They were delicious and not terrible for me! The whole wheat was a great idea, it was perfect with the lemon and strawberry! ^_^