My second ex was said to be a pedophile after I reported him to CPS
I have a pattern of abusive relationships, beginning with my first ex-husband who via court-ordered psychological evaluations was diagnosed as a paranoid personality disorder. Between all of that, I sustained a brain injury via a head on multi-trauma MVA believed to have been caused by vehicle tampering by first ex. Short story, I missed the early red flags persistently. I always believed that my father had abused us, only now coming to the recognition that it was in fact my mother that abused us – absent any remorse, a very “sick” woman she is for sure. Yet I am only just now coming to the recognition that, as a therapist told me many years ago, it was in fact my mother who was the root of my problem, not my father at all.
I am in rehab for the brain injury after many years of being undiagnosed as such. I believe that I have a sort of PTSD that adds to my emotional reactivity underlying the post concussive syndrome and ADD. Which of course impairs the effectiveness of my communications when I encounter similar situations in the emotional aspect to events in my past.
I suspect my own mother may well be significantly personality disordered. She did not raise us, my father did. Yet it was extremely important to him that we not be like her, only he never explained why we shouldn’t be like her. I was the one of three siblings that in essence clung to her and didn’t begin to emotionally detach until she put my children at risk with the 1st ex in violation of my custody order and her reaction when confronted about it was to tell me she wished I had died in that accident.
It’s only recently that I came to the awareness that the end of a very good career for me began with a female manager who, like my mother, was exceptionally charismatic, yet cut-throat when anything got in the way of what she wanted. Very self-focused, lied on a dime and so forth. Not looking at this from the victim perspective although it sounds like it.
Am I correct about the PTSD being applicable about me? Or did I end up with a personality disorder? anon133
All I can say to women out there in a relationship with a sociopath or in any kind of an abusive relationship. You will leave when it hurts bad enough. You may think it hurts really bad but if you don’t get out than it really hasn’t hurt bad enough. Others looking in may wonder why you don’t leave and the answer is still it doesn’t hurt bad enough yet. They never grow a heart it’s impossible. You must move on. anon132
I’m married to a sociopath. He has all the negative qualities other wives and girlfriends have complained about with military training and PTSD on top. Needless to say he’s difficult to live with. The VA doctors have put him on every medication known to man, but he prefers vodka. After his current doc suggested electric shock treatment he stopped going to therapy.
How do I live with his madness ? 1) Don’t trust him with anything important (like a checkbook) 2) don’t let his behavior upset me/make me sweat 3) call the cops if he gets physical (that includes with the furniture and pets). 4)set boundaries
What does this make me?
All us girls in this position need to ask ourselves what we saw in them. There are always warning signs before you get in too deep. I liked the fact that my husband is a tough guy. I saw him as this great protector. I should have known he’d eventually turn his temper on me. I had to own the fact that I envy him a bit. I’m such a bleeding heart I weep for the whole world. In contrast, he doesn’t give a damn. He knows he’s insane and he’s proud of it.